Expansion by just being
The DICE and FEELING of HIGH & ENOUGH, and at the same time EXPANSIVE.
Practising embodiment for 6 days in my MIECAT studies of the Master of Therapeutic Arts has brought me so many "wow" moments. It reminded me of those great states I felt during my experiments “for the sake of curiosity and scientific research” with psychedelics or marihuana edibles. Those experiences are like fast tracks, a glimpse into a feeling you wish you could live in forever. But usually, that feeling evaporates as the substance fades, and you’re left without a clue how to get back there on your own without the substance.
And here is where the EMBODIMENT practices come in. After four days of practice, my brain felt naturally "high." My cup was full. I felt so satisfied, full of love, connected to myself, others and the world. Life was so simple, zero wish to engage in complicated mental concepts, excessive worry about getting somewhere. JUST BE here and now was enough. I was returning to my BODY, SENSING and TRUSTING that just it is enough to let that guide you. No thinking required.
If you want the scientific explanation, there are two systems at work. When we are "reaching" for something out there, we use dopamine circuits—they create desire and drive, but no satisfaction. The other system engages with what is in presence-here, right now, in front of us. This creates endocannabinoids in the brain and a feeling of lasting satisfaction. Yes, the same substance we "borrow" from marijuana, we can actually create ourselves just by practising presence.
So while contemplating how to express the wholeness I am experiencing - or, more precisely, using creative imagination to explain what I am feeling in the process of study - I use art therapy or multimodality; in other words, I use a language other than verbal and an approach other than the purely cognitive.
I came up with an image of a DICE - that is irregular or weirdly free-form, has many faces, some with numbers, one that is empty. Whatever face I land on each day, that is a part of me. Some days are empty, some are "two" for connection, or "nine" for completeness or “three” for separation... There is no need to reach for a different or future version of being.
I’ve realised I don’t quite sit right with those spiritual metaphors about "reaching" for something in the future. Take the onion concept: you peel skin by skin, trying to get to the core, like some "golden nugget" would be there. But when the skins are all gone, there is NOTHING left! It almost makes me want to put the skins back on to feel whole again.
Or the caterpillar: only humans worry about the outcome, or remember/imagine the whole past-future picture together. In nature, a caterpillar has no clue it will turn into a cocoon or become something "more beautiful." It just lives - fleshy, wiggly, and fully present in here and now, chomping on the leaves. It just is. I don't think the butterfly looks back and thinks or remembers it was "lesser" before, either.
In our sharing experience, my classmate shared a message from her yoga teacher, which landed in the same vibe:
“Tell me, what is your deepest intention?
And now try to live that intention already today, on today’s terms."