MENOPAUSE AND SACRED ANGER.

Menopause is famous for the overwhelmed, angry, raging woman — suddenly speaking up, wanting to fight, abandoning and questioning structures that used to feel so bearable before.

No one likes that, right?

And maybe it has nothing to do with hormones and menopause, or even PMS, that time when everything usually bubbles up?

In old times, the chiefs or shamans of the tribe would invite women before their moon cycle for a talk to gain insight into what was out of alignment in the community. PMS — that time when perception, senses, and intuition become sharp, raw, and everything suppressed and unaligned bubbles up to the surface.

I loved this explanation: that estrogen is like pink, foggy glasses of "accommodation", keeping women slightly "sedated" for years so they can bear the role of woman, mother, carer, etc. With every PMS, these glasses get a little clearer, and with menopause we lose them altogether.

And what if anger is exactly about this? Not hormones going crazy, but us suddenly realising something is out of alignment — with ourselves, with our family life, with society and the system in general.

What if instead of suppressing anger again, we would listen to what it is? What does it want for us? From our life? What wisdom is in there?

Lately there's specialist opinion circulating in the media questioning whether "menopause support" is leaning too hard on HRT as a "miracle cure" for anything that surfaces during this stage. And maybe that's the same instinct — reach for the fix, quiet the what surfaces and move on — instead of asking what the anger, or the symptom, is actually pointing to.

Western culture (especially under Christian ideology) hasn't given us a female archetype or deity who depicts anger as a source of power and empowerment. There are examples in other cultures — Kali in Hinduism, for instance, a fierce woman who channels her anger as a tool for transformation — but Western traditions don't have similar representations of women's anger as strength. Figures like Eve and Mother Mary are usually presented as obedient and self-sacrificing, with no room left for anger.

But then I remembered — there is a figure who represents this power, smartly edited out and handed "evil" vibes and punishment in Christian-patriarchal ideology: Lilith, the first wife of Adam. She was expelled from Eden for her "anger," which was really her ability to advocate for herself, assert her needs, and set boundaries. Lilith embodied gender equality in a way that wasn't distorted or oppressive.

Reflecting on Lilith made me think about how anger shows up in women today, especially in Western society. Women are so often encouraged to suppress their anger, hiding it under layers of "sweetness" or "perfection." And when it's not expressed, it turns inward — showing up as passive-aggressive behaviour, gossip and criticism, micromanaging, or controlling behaviour toward children and spouses. Studies have shown that repressed anger, particularly in women, can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, depression, and even chronic health issues like heart disease, autoimmune disorders, and gastrointestinal problems. Reclaiming anger as a tool for self-empowerment and growth — much like the archetype of Lilith — can help women cultivate healthier, more balanced emotional lives.

There are only a few animal species in nature that go through menopause, and usually afterwards they become leaders of the pack — the ones who share wisdom and guide where the food resources are.

But it's hard to lead the pack toward resources if there are no resources left to lead toward — nothing that actually sustains the next generation. Maybe that's what the anger is really scouting for? Not a fight for its own sake, but a search for what's worth passing on.

And at the end of the day, all that ANGER NEEDS is LOVE - to be acknowledged and befriended. Once we accept that it exists, we can explore why it's there and find healthy outlets for releasing it.

One way to explore your anger is to take a brief moment and reflect on these questions, write down your answers and get curious about why you came up with those responses. What are the underlying reasons? You might uncover some fascinating insights about your own relationship with anger:

If anger had a sound, what would it be?

If anger had a colour, what would it be?

If anger had a texture, what would it be?

Where in your body do you feel anger accumulating?

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of anger and its expression?

Or just snap one photo today of anything that looks exactly like anger, and post it in the comments.

"Frosting". Painting by Agnes Kruze