ADHD? Autism? Dis-ability or Talent? Or let's call it NEURODIVERGENT.

Like biodiversity in nature, there is diversity in how our brains are built and work.

Imagine a picture of a tree with branches. Neurotypical brains have fewer branches, and with age, they prune. More linear, more focused stream of flow. Neurodivergent brains have many more branches, and they don’t prune. That’s why thinking goes everywhere at once - sensing deeply and more, connecting things that seem unrelated, jumping between ideas, seeing patterns others miss. A different kind of intelligence.

* Is it a disability or a talent?

As Einstein (quite possibly - the typical neurodivergent brain, because no labels existed then) said: “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”

* Where does “disability” even come from?

What is “ability”? Just a reminder that older cultures didn’t have “disabilities” - just “special talents” if you were different. Also, a reminder that just a few decades ago, homosexuality was classified as a disability, as well as being left-handed. A few hundred years ago, all women’s moods, cycles and transitions were labelled “hysteria” and could lead you to a mental institution. We live in a system that is designed for “norms” and “abilities” - to serve someone obedient to the system, able to perform an 8-hour routine workday sitting down.

If you research closely, almost any person who has made some achievement or is well known, there is a good chance they are neurodivergent.

* Do you need a diagnosis? Do you need medication?

Up to the individual and the severity of their patterns - it is a spectrum, and some people will NEED medication to help regulate brain patterns. Easiest clue - if your child is diagnosed, or most of your friends are and think similarly to you, most likely you are too, and your parents are. We just gravitate toward people with the same thinking and the same “belief” or brain pattern.

Anyhow. The most important thing here is to understand what type of fish you are and what type of water you need — and stop climbing trees and ending up with a lifelong loathing, shame, constant overthinking about why you are different, why life is so hard for you, and burnout and exhaustion from trying to climb trees. In simple words, you need EDUCATION and AWARENESS.

* Speaking from lived experience.

No, I am not diagnosed. I don’t need a label — I need a self understanding and a strategy of how it works for me. Because that is another story of a world designed for “people with ability” - where you join a months-long waitlist, attend 4–8 sessions, pay up to $2,500 or more, and walk away with “a label” and a prescription to keep you functional enough to climb trees as a fish.

* Especially for women?

Especially for women, because for them neurodivergence isn’t as obvious externally (as it is for men) - think of all that excess external activity showing in boys, for girls it happens internally, in thoughts. Women are also excellent at masking it - the cost of that: anxiety, depression, burnout, exhaustion, leading to many other health problems. Not to mention alcohol as a coping substance (regardless of gender) - which an ADHD brain may use to “relax,” though far healthier alternatives exist.

* You ARE DIFFERENT. You rest differently. You need everything different.

Just as you think and feel differently, you rest differently. You need a different approach to diet, exercise, work, education, and social life. Everything.

I loved the movie Where’d You Go, Bernadette (with Cate Blanchett) - where she lived an idle suburban life and slowly lost her mind, struggling with anxiety, getting labelled with many other mental health problems - when it turned out she just needed to create, to be busy with projects. So she went to Antarctica and designed a polar station.

* Why art therapy - and why it works?

In my art therapy process, I came across this image (see photo) and explanation of feeling, that my mind works like an octopus. It has many legs, each sensing and processing different things simultaneously, and also sensing how it all connects to one body, and it is SO hard to decide which leg is more important at this moment. Also, it is hard to fit all his legs in the box for him. (And this image or understanding came long before I stumbled upon a scientific image comparing and explaining ADHD and neurotypical brain neuron branches.)

That’s why neurodivergent brains need a different kind of therapy beyond just talk therapy. They process things better with non-linear, sensory, image-based and metaphorical thinking. That’s where art therapy is so beneficial - and that’s why it works when so many other things haven’t.

Where to start?

Two books worth reading:

“Is This Autism?” by Donna Henderson & Sarah Wayland -Guide for Clinicians and Everyone else - accessible, compassionate, and eye-opening.

“Healing ADD” by Daniel G. Amen - more clinical, but practical in understanding types and variations.

And the single most important shift:

stop measuring yourself against a system that was never built for you.

KNOW YOUR FISH. FIND YOUR WATER.

This is also why I do what I do. As a therapist, I work with neurodivergent individuals, especially women in midlife — undiagnosed, exhausted, finally asking these questions. Art therapy is where we find your water, not force you up another tree